


The Fox, The Rat, and The Badger

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-17
Updated: 2004-06-17
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: An X Files Fairy Tale for a sick rat





	The Fox, The Rat, and The Badger

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

The Fox, The Rat, and the Badger 

(Another X-Files Fairytale)

 

 

 

"That's the worst case of bed hair that I've ever seen on anyone's head," Walter said.

 

"One of the few times that I envy you for your spit and polish hairstyle," Mulder said wryly. The wince of a smile fled his lips and he collapsed into Walter's arms.

 

"Damn," he doesn't even know how sick he is. What if we lose him?"

 

Walter's strong chest with its thick muscles seemed to create a haven for Mulder. "We're not going to lose him," Walter said.

 

"How do you know?" Mulder asked.

 

"Why would Alex Krycek have survived everything he went through to allow a common case of mumps to kill him?" Walter said. "Now chin up and let's get back in that room with cheerful faces."

 

Alex looked as if he was a squirrel not a rat. His puffy cheeks looked almost cute and his hair, which was even spikier than Mulder's, looked like it belonged to a baby bird. His bright eyes caught sight of his lovers and he said, "Walter, Mulder, c'mere. Tell me a story."

 

Walter sat on the bed and took a compress to wipe Alex's feverish brow. "What? What do you mean, Alex?"

 

"I was lying here thinking about Scully and William the other night when they were over. You know what? No one ever read me bedtime stories...my parents were running here and there, always too scared and busy for real life. My big sister,Kolya, did her best to fill in 

for them, but I guess she never knew about stories. So I want a story, a bedtime story," Alex said.

 

Stirring in the bed, he sniffed and said, "Something to take my mind off my balls. They hurt."

 

"I know they do, baby," Mulder said, kissing Alex's forehead. He said, "You want me to go get a book? Fox in Socks? The Rats of Nimh?"

 

"No, make one up," Alex said.

 

Mulder sat on the bed too, holding Alex's hand in his, spreading the fingers, and admiring the long delicate digits. He kissed Alex's palm and held it against his chest. He sat thinking and said, "All right, I learned this story from a Native American FBI agent. I'll just change one of the characters and a few of the facts to make it a better story for us."

 

Mulder said, "Child, a long time ago things were good on the earth. No one bothered anyone else and none of the creatures had to suffer. Everything was good and food was abundant. Sad as it seems, there are always going to be some folks who are never content with the world.

They always have to be better than everyone else. The Fox, the Badger, and the Rat weren't like that, but they were all a little restless. Badger was a bossy sort, always thinking up things for people to do. Most folks just ignored him, but Fox argued with him, mostly because he thought Badger looked adorable when he would huff

and puff at Fox's sharp words," Mulder paused to grin at Walter, who rolled his eyes.

 

"Was the rat pretty?" Alex asked with his whisper of a voice.

 

"Yes, pretty as he could be, in fact the fox used to get mad at him because in those days, rat had the prettiest tail of all the creatures. It was black and fluffy and Rat was very vain of it," Mulder said. "He used to groom it for hours, sitting on a rock as near Fox and Badger as he could. Rat also had the loveliest green eyes and the glossiest, satiny hide as ever was seen. One day as Rat

sat there, a Badthing sat next to him. Now Badthings are mostly extinct, but in those days, there were many of them. The Badthing said that if they didn't take the sun down out of the sky that it was going to fall on earth and kill everyone. Rat wasn't very smart in those days because he was young and vain. However, that didn't sound quite right. He was sure the sun was good for something and it was pretty to look at. So the chief Badthing, a frightening grey creature who blew smoke out of his nose, said, 'If you help us save all the people by stopping the sun from falling, Badger and Fox will respect

you and let you be their friend."

 

"Oh, Rat wanted that, a lot didn't he?" Alex whispered.

 

"Yes, he did, but stop talking or I won't tell you the rest of the story," Mulder said.

 

Walter smiled and helped Alex to take a sip of water. His lover cooperated instead of fighting as he had been doing because his throat was so sore. Walter slipped behind Alex and cuddled him closely, making the ill young man sigh and snuggle contentedly back.

 

"Rat didn't give in right away. In fact, he held out for months. He went to ask Badger and Fox about the possibility of the sun falling and crushing the earth, but Badger was much too busy to bother with a young and foolish rat. Fox wasn't too busy, but it embarrassed him

that he spent much of his time dreaming about Rat's tail. He didn't want to have Rat to come near enough to notice that he became very excited in his presence so as soon as he saw Rat, he either ran away or punched him," Mulder said.

 

"Rat was left to listen to the Badthing constantly telling him that the sun was going to fall. To prove it, they showed him that each day the sun moved closer to the earth. They did this by inventing the first sun dial and measuring the fall of the shadow," Mulder related. "So poor young Rat really believed that the Badthing was

right. Up into the sky, he went with special gloves made of the aloe plant and asbestos cactus and he captured the sun in a net to give to Badthing.

 

To his astonishment, all the light disappeared from the earth. Soon the plants begin to die and there was not enough food for everyone. Some of the people took to eating others and there was constant arguing and fighting. Rat thought and thought, finally realizing that

the smoking Badthings fooled him. He knew if he confessed what he had done that everyone would hunt him and he was very afraid. He hoped he could get Fox's help as Fox was very intelligent and that Badger

would help because he was very brave and good at organizing plans. However as soon as he told them that he had helped steal the sun, Fox hit him very hard and Badger spanked his glossy rat's ass until Rat squealed so loud that all the other creatures hid."

 

"Mulder, you're talking to the room," Walter said.

 

Surely enough, Alex was fast asleep. Walter settled him in the bed and carefully arranged the IV tube so it would not kink. A few moments later, he and Mulder cuddled in the large armchair one of the nurses had brought into the room for the lovers who would not leave their beloved.

 

~~~~~~

 

The bedtime story must have been a wonderful cure-all, Mulder thought, because Alex slept for eight hours, the first good sleep he had had since the first night of complaining about a sore throat. In the morning, his temperature was down and so was the swelling in his

balls.

 

After flipping through the channels on the TV, Alex said, "This stinks. Mulder, where's the rest of my story."

 

"Eat your Jell-O and I'll tell it to you," Mulder bargained.

 

"Okay," Alex agreed, batting his eyes at Walter. He said, "If Walter feeds me..."

 

Shrugging, Walter agreed and spoon-fed Alex the slippery substance. Even ice cream was too thick for Alex's abused throat, but the Jell-O gave him the illusion that he was eating as well as a few calories.

 

Patting the pretty mouth with a napkin, Walter finished with another kiss.

 

Mulder said, "Now, last night, Rat had tried to get Fox and Badger's help, but Fox punched him and Badger spanked him. His poor butt was very sore and he went to hide away in his den to think. Meanwhile, Fox had discovered that it was true that the Badthings had the sun and were using it to make slaves of all the creatures on earth. He

tried to go to the Badthings' mountain hideaway to steal the sun back. The chief Badthing was fond of Fox and hoped that some day he might join the gang so he merely paddled Fox soundly and threw him down the mountain."

 

"Bet that didn't discourage old Fox," Alex said.

 

"Shh," Mulder scolded, "but you're right. It didn't. Badger found him and brought him to the rare redheaded Ibis to be bandaged. Fox was scolded and as soon as he had recovered, you can bet that Badger blistered his butt. Meanwhile, Badger was attempting to organize all

the animals into an army to defeat the Badthings, but it was almost impossible because they kept attacking each other and some were too afraid to even come out of their dens."

 

"Yes, that's how it works," Alex agreed sadly.

 

"Fox was determined to try again. He didn't believe that the other animals were as brave as Badger or as smart as he was so he intended to try to steal the sun from the Badthings even if they killed him this time. Now, Fox used to talk to himself and he sat on a rock next to a hole in the ground where it just so happened that Rat was

hiding. When Rat heard what Fox intended, he ran to Badger and told him. Badger was very unhappy and beat Rat quite soundly before going to fight the Badthings."

 

"But Badger felt very badly later about what he had done," Walter said with a frown.

 

"Yes, he did," Mulder said, "But that was later. Don't ruin the story, Walt."

 

"I won't if FOX remembers that he's not ill and can still be

spanked," Walter reminded.

 

"Hey," Alex said, "I'm waiting."

 

"So Fox had decided he would disguise himself as a Badthing and sneak in the gate. He tied sagebrush all over himself and lit the ends so he had the smoky appearance of the Badthings. This was not a good

plan as he kept inhaling the smoke and choking," Mulder said.

 

Meanwhile, Rat had finished licking his wounds and had decided since no one trusted him that he would have to go and steal the sun back all on his own.

 

All three of them met at the gate. In fact, by this time, the

smoldering sagebrush had nearly set Fox on fire. Badger and Rat had to work together to put him out. Rat cried so hard because he was afraid for Fox that Badger finally believed that Rat really cared. The tears put out the fire and Fox was only singed.

 

The three of them sat together and came up with a plan. Fox would create a foolish display at the front gate to distract the Badthings. Meanwhile, Badger would use his strong claws to dig a hole large enough for Rat to sneak into the Badthings' lair unobserved.

 

Rat had watched to see how the chief Badthing had constructed the protective garments that Rat had worn to steal the sun. He thought he had made his clothes the very same way, but he wasn't sure. Rat wasn't very brave, but he knew he had to do the right thing so he

tried not to wonder what would happen if he had not made the protective gear correctly.

 

It was very sad to see all the animals that the Badthings had enslaved. They never allowed them very much food or more than a few moments to see the sun. The animals cried all the time and most of them wished they had resisted, but now they were trapped and could not get out.

 

Rat crept through the passages and saw the Badthings were making a deal to sell the sun to Worsethings. He knew he had to get it back and he thought about Fox and Badger, hoping they would love him at last if he succeeded.

 

As soon as Rat grabbed the sun, he realized that his protection was a case of almost right. At first the heat felt good after being cold so long. Then it begin to get uncomfortable and if Rat didn't have an inner courage, he surely would have put the sun down and given up."

 

Mulder glanced at Alex and saw that his lover was smiling. "This is the hard part of the story, Alex. Shall I skip it?"

 

Alex shook his head and said, "No, tell it."

 

Mulder brushed away a tear and said, "Rat carried the sun even when it scorched through the glove that was almost right. His poor little paw sizzled, but he managed to grasp the sun in the crook of his arm and still carry it. He was almost out of the Badthings' lair when the

chief Badthing caught him by his beautiful fluffy tail. Rat wiggled very hard, but the evil creature would not let him go. Finally, he gave one last mighty wiggle and broke free, but all the beautiful tail fur was gone and he was left with a naked tail. As soon as Rat was free, he took a slingshot and hurtled the sun back into the sky. The earth immediately danced back to life and every creature rejoiced.

 

Badger and Fox led an army to make sure the Badthings would never try to steal the sun again. Under their leadership, even the most timid became braver and soon the Badthings were locked deep in the earth, never to be seen again.

 

Amidst all the rejoicing, Fox and Badger kept looking around, but they didn't see the one they most wanted to see. They asked everyone whether they knew where Rat was, but everyone said that he was dead.

 

Fox could do nothing but dab at his eyes with his lovely tail and Badger became so surly that no one would even enter his den.

 

 

Until one day, as Fox forlornly wandered, he heard a soft whimpering and went to see what creature was suffering. He found Rat, but alas, he was much altered. He had lost his left paw and his wonderful tail was now quite naked. The fur had not grown back where the chief Badthing had grabbed it and stripped it off as Rat tried to escape.

 

"Go away and leave me," Rat said, "I'm very hideous now. No one will ever love me."

 

With that, Rat wiggled deeper into the hole he had dug. Fox could not get him out. However, Fox was not the kind of woodland creature that ever gives up. He yelled and yelled until Badger came running. Together they worked as a team, one digging on either side of Rat until they trapped him in the middle.

 

Fox dragged Rat out and Badger held him tight until Rat finally gave up. Rat said, "I don't even know why I'm fighting. Go ahead and kill me now."

 

"Silly creature, we don't want to kill you. We miss you," Fox said.

 

As for Badger, he growled, "I never liked that silly tail anyway. This one is so very handy in case I need to spank some sense into you. Why there is no way that you can hide your cute little rat butt from my spanking!"

 

Rat still didn't believe that the handsome creatures that he admired could care about him, but he was too tired and sick to fight anymore.

 

Each day, they fed him the best food on earth. They groomed him until his fur was glossy and velvety again. And whenever, he doubted that they love him, why Badger would spank his ass for the very idea."

 

"They lived happily ever after?" Alex asked.

 

"Well, of course, they did,' Mulder said.

 

"I think we will too," Alex murmured before going back to sleep.

 

Mulder looked at Walter and said, "I think we will too."

 

And of course, Mulder was right.

 

The end


End file.
